James Arthur - Get Down (Smooth Remix)

"No matter how much how much colder,

Or how much I carry on my shoulders...

As long as I'm standing, I'll be closer

Cause it ain't over, till its over

But we don't get down

No we don't get down

We can turn this 'round"

About to take the biggest step of my life.

Had to make a soundcloud as a portfolio to send to a producer but give it a listen!

https://soundcloud.com/paolaagarces

ChillStep

So lately I've kind of been avoiding going to sleep. I can't help it, I just wake up late and then by the time it's four o'clockin the morning, I'm still not sleepy. So, the other night I asked Rishav to help me with this cause he also has this problem. And, he showed me the coolest playlist ever. It's actually put me down like a baby for the past two nights and I'm so appreciative of it. I can finally sleep and wake up early and get my work done! Progress...

First Day

I
feel
okay.
I
feel
fine.
For
the
first
time
in
a
long
time.
:)

Gaby Busque

You made my fucking night. You are actually the most supportive person ever and I know that I've had my skeptical moments about how much time it takes to actually get to know a person. But I will say right now that you are a kind person and that you are the greatest friend anyone could ask for. Thank you for being so supportive and for being there for me. Love you!

The Risk Isn't Worth It

"Even now when you know how to measure up the risk, you're still not tired of this."

"El no siempre esta ahi, lo que tu buscas es el si"

I think this saying will always get me through the day. I've posted it in this blog before. It means "the no is always there, what you're looking for is that yes." Anya's dad told us this a long time ago and I think it's some of the wisest words that I've ever heard.

The Best Night I've Had in A Long Time

So two nights ago, 8 of us spent the night at Natalia's grandparents' apartment just 25 minutes outside of Montreal. It was in the middle of nowhere: Nuns Island. And it was actually perfect. It was a huge apartment, big enough for all of us to be perfectly comfortable. It had a huge balcony and a giant octagon pool. And, I couldn't have asked for a better night. I guess I needed it because I've been struggling for a while. It's good to admit that to yourself, I've found. It's okay to know when you're just not doing so well. It seems like all the odds are against me right now and it's really difficult to see past this bad period at times. But I guess I'm surrounded by a lot of people that have had to get past a million obstacles and that's enough motivation! So yeah, this night was amazing for me simply because it took my mind off everything that I've had to deal with lately. And it showed me that it is possible to see past all the bad stuff. It doesn't have to swallow you whole and it certainly doesn't have to consume you. So I guess, thank you Natalia. You made this weekend live-able.

Hit Rock Bottom

South - Paint the Silence

Competition

So one of the ugliest thing that someone can have as a personality trait is competitiveness. Don't get me wrong, I think that a certain degree of competition is great especially if it keeps you motivated and inspired. However, when it starts to become something that is engraved in your personality, something that you can't separate yourself from, and something that interferes with most aspects of your world, that is when I find it to be incredibly ugly. I think that competition can turn a person that is admirable into one that is entirely detestable. You see, competition is all about the ego. When a person cannot place their ego aside, and must always satisfy its needs, that is when it truly becomes a disease. If it weren't for the competition at McGill, then I don't think that I would stay motivated to do better every day. However, lately it has become something that I can't entirely understand. I was reading the other day that to maintain a stable relationship (platonic as well), positive competition is healthy. I completely agree with that. My best friends and I are always keeping each other in check, looking to out-do ourselves. My boyfriend and I have discrete goals that we're always striving towards. And I appreciate these aspects of my life every day. I think that it is completely worth it to have a little competition if it means creating a better and healthier life for not only yourself but for those around you as well. But competition is ugly when taken out of hand. I hope that I never become a person that is driven by it. I hope to be motivated by it. I hope to never become dependent on it...that it never becomes the upper hand. 

To more great nights with this one

Sometimes I think it's good to admit to yourself that to be truly happy it can't just be all about one thing. I think that I've started to realize that happiness for me is more about the comfort that I find in people. And I really miss feeling like I truly know some people. I think that's what I miss about the city all the time and I think it's what I may be missing here. But hey, it's only been like 5 and a half months.

The Real You - Alan Watts

1st Semester

Next Year

The lease for our apartment is officially completed! That's amazing. It's a great feeling. Turns out that a handful of my friends here, Ben, Justin, Naomi, Mike, and Sasha are all probably going to be living in the same building so that's going to be really convenient. I'm actually too excited for next year.