"I know there's something in the wake of your smile

I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah

You've built a love but that love falls apart

A little piece of heaven turns to dark

Listen to your heart

When he's calling for you

Listen to your heart

There's nothing else you can do 

I don't know where you're going 

And I don't know why

But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile

The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah

They're swept away and nothing is what it seems

The feeling of belonging to your dreams"

She Dances

Awe;

People look at her in awe.

She cuts through the stage, sliding her toes like blades against metal

The audience is her long lost friend and her enemy as well.

She thrashes her body and strangles the air with rapid fistful movements.

A chemical—A chemical her body has become,

Reacting to the lights and the floor with anger.

It’s not enough, it’s not enough—she believes.

So, she begins her strides again and with incomparable perfection,

She slashes the floorboards racing against whatever’s left to compete with.

Nothing’s enough; nothing’s enough—nothing.

Enough’s enough, but enough is nothing.

Suddenly, the beam’s on her, and the admiration overwhelms her ears.

The knives drop from her palms as she realizes that finally—

Finally, she dances.

WHAT SOMEBODY SAID TO ME TODAY :)

"How come your tears aren't bigger than mine?

Like you got bigger eyes, but same tears."

Remember Me

Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant.

But it's very important that you do it...because...nobody else will.

Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says:

"You're nowhere near ready..." but the other half says,

"Make her yours forever."

Michael, Caroline asked me what I would say if I knew you could hear me.

I said, I do know.

I love you.

God, I miss you and I forgive you.

"I've always felt like the girl who never gets the brass ring and maybe I never will but today and at regionals, the way you guys believed me and took a chance with me, all I've ever wanted to feel special...and to be chosen, and I wanted to thank you guys for giving me that."

and then the sky turned red

this quote haunts me as if i had learned no other phrases in my life. i don't know what it is about these specific words. they just really shock me every time i remember them. i've blogged about this before but i believe it is worth re-blogging. i was once writing a personal essay and i ended it with this quote. i, actually, named the personal essay "And then the sky turned red." the personal essay was about four relationships that i had: rishav, abdullah, shiraz and my parents. i ended the essay with this paragraph:

"These three relationships along with my parents have affected my life as a whole, making me who I am and who I’m meant to truly be. “And then the sky turned red,” said Rishav to me one day long ago about what he had seen. And until today, I never really realized how that quote impacted me. The blue sky turning red represents me, for without these people; I would never have seen the sky turn red, I would’ve never experienced that once in a blue moon moment. So, if anyone ever asks me what my parents or what my true best friends are like, I’ll tell them they are just like me, since they have made me become who I am. And although I am fifteen, with a long life ahead of me, I have no complaints for now, which is how it should be. For now, I am home. "

there is nothing left to say in this post. i just thought i should relive the precise moment in which i wrote this entire 1850 word essay. on that day, i was happy, i was alive and content with my life. i had these three relationships to look up to each and every day, something to rely on and love. it seems as though around that precise period of time, everything started to go downhill. everything started changing and altering. it is precisely today that i feel as though i can stand up and look out the window and realize that the sky has turned red for me once again.

a part of me is still with you, no matter how i act, no matter how much i deny it.

i'm happy i can look back at everything with a smile and no regrets.

the sun's gone dim and the sky's turned black

please listen to this song by johann johannsson

the full version.

it is a really fucking painful thing hurting someone that means so much to you unintentionally when all you're trying to do is what you think is best. it is incredibly mortifying, i can't even describe it. the worst thing is the confusion that you feel afterwards, the reluctancy and desire to speak. wondering what the future holds and if what the past was worth it after all. on the contrary to my almost unbreakable belief that everything holds some kind of beauty, this has no beauty at all. there is nothing enjoyable about hurting someone that means so much and there is nothing pleasurable about the side effects. there is no accomplishment in doing so and there is no lesson learned. the only thing you're really left with is guilt and regret. and pain.