Most difficult first day back from break of my life. Just so tired.

I miss you.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-steiner/ode-to-new-york_b_2359325.html

Missing home right now.

I just need to accomplish something right now. That's really it. Lately, I've felt like I've been so lazy and that I've been sitting around mostly doing nothing. I just need a sign that I'm still good enough for the things I have lined up for the future. Do you ever feel like you're in a rut? Like even if you wanted to get up and do something, your legs and feet were stuck in quicksand and you couldn't move? PLEASE SOME GOOD NEWS COME MY WAY!

Disclosure - Latch ft. Sam Smith

Time Runs Out

I saw this on an accquaintance's instagram and I thought it was incredible.

Deseos

El destino es el destino. Lo que si se es que no quiero que nada cambie. Nunca he estado tan contenta. Lo unico que quiero es estar contigo sin tener que preocuparme del futuro. Claro, una parte de mi desea estar contigo el año que viene. Es una locura lo que estoy diciendo pero honestamente, no puedo imaginarme sin ti. En mi imaginación, estamos juntos en el futuro sin tener que preocuparnos de el dia en que nos tengamos que separar. No hay leyes ni expiración. Pero se que nuestro tiempo tiene un limite. Hoy me dijiste que el tiempo esta pasando lentamente. Para mi, el tiempo esta pasando rapidisimo. Me acuerdo de ese dia en octubre. Teniamos el mundo por adelante. Ahora me siento sofocada por los minutos. Ya se que no puedo hablar contigo sobre esto porque los dos decidimos que teniamos que olvidar esta tragedia por el momento y al contrario, vivir como nunca hemos vivido antes. Se que tenemos que usar cada minuto como si fuera el ultimo. Pero, honestamente algunas veces no puedo pensar en nada mas. Entonces, lo unico que podemos hacer es vivir. Seguir viviendo para que cuando miremos atras, podamos sonreir y saber que hicimos lo mejor que pudimos.

Angry People

There are way too many angry people in this world. I honestly don't understand how some people can carry so much weight on their shoulders. Even if I wanted to be mad for a long time, I don't think I could physically do it. Because anger sucks up SO much of your energy. How can some people be so bitter all the time? How can some people really believe that being that bitter has no consequences on their future relationships? There's just wayyyyyyyy too much anger. That is what I've just come to notice. I think that what takes true talent is taking all the bad things in your life and just flipping the off switch on them. Bad things will come and go. They don't just stop happening to you one day. Everything can't always go perfectly. I think that my friends have taught me that better than anyone else. I have literally watched people go through hell and back. I listen to their stories and wonder how they can even get through a minute of their days. But they do. And I admire each one of them so much for that talent. There's this one confidant that I have outside of school and he asked me the other day, "So how do you do it? You know, get through what you've been going through?" And I literally couldn't picture anything else but my best friends faces. Literally, you guys have taught me more lessons than anyone could ever teach me on the planet. And I love each and everyone one of you for it.

why
did i let this happen
how

Bad shit happens to good people

Right now, in this moment, I feel so powerless to the events around me. I feel so stuck. I want to do all these things, help in as many ways possible but the efforts that I make will make little to no impact. I know that. And that is the most painful thing to accept; we are so powerless and so helpless. And little. I just feel so so little right now. Today knocked the wind out of me and I feel ridiculously small.


I wish I could help you. Love you so much.