Flickers Would Suffice

I whirl around in circles.
White light surrounds me as if I were caught in a photograph.
Not a photograph of my past, not a photograph of the present.
But—simply, a photograph of what I envision.
A scene of sequence, one that is unadorned—
Like circles.
The grey scale phenomenon of my milieu causes me to cringe
The dissimilarities are too many
But I don’t stop, because like a child, I’m alone but reminiscent of this scene
The velocity in which I rub and twirl matches the room.
Spinning.
Like a circus, as if surreal.
White glows appear in front of me, dancing
Vigorously springing, bending down to plies and it seems to me that they are simply mocking me for the lack of recognition I fail to give them.
Joining them would be nice, I could only imagine.
Concentration, like them—
Concentration would be good.
And so I focus, or at least I try.
I pick up the pace again,
But suddenly, the flashes pick me up and sweep me away.
I notice the clock and it suddenly emphasizes the 12:12
The patterns of the numbers startle me—
Just like every other whom is foreign to sequence
And so, I reach out to turn off the numbers
but my hands collide with an invisible wall
Numbness. Neon lights. Northern lights.
Squares and illumination.
Glints, flashes and colors.
But I wish to dream in black and white.
Turn it off.
Turn it on.
Either one, would be nice.
“Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice.”
I say that the world will end in flickers.
Flickers that glisten too fast for you to analyze.
Musing wastes time.
And time is something I’d rather not endure when waiting to go.
So let me disagree with you.
If it ended in fire or ice, that would not suffice.
For those two let you linger too long and let you acknowledge what is burning, what is freezing.
Flickers, Mr. Frost.
Flickers would suffice.

momma said i was born backwards.

art class

the class that i adore the most this year has to be art. even though, english is up there, im not going to be talking about english in this post. i hate academics, if i could choose, i'd be doing creative things all day. because of academics, i have no time anymore for piano. and because of that, i don't do well in my lessons, so therefore, i hate piano now, which is sad. i used to love piano, mostly because i'm pretty good at it and when your up there at the piano presenting a song for an audience, the thrill feels great. then after it's finished and you look up and take a short breath then bow and the whole audience is clapping and congratulating you and even giving you flowers...yeah, i lovED piano. my next recital is next week and i haven't practiced in a while because exams are coming up and yeah, i'm going crazy about then. but this post isn't about this shit, so idk why i'm sidetracked. this is about art. i was washing my hands to rid myself of paint yesterday and the paint was barely sliding off my hands, and the water was of my paint colors. it looked so beautiful and i thought to myself, wow this could actually be a nice picture. i wonder how many times i've passed by beautiful objects and sceneries and never gotten the chance to think .. "wow."

i hate making the wrong decisions.

it sucks when you're standing there with your jaw metaphorically hanging open and your mind is blank. it's the worst feeling in the world when you don't know what to say and after it's way too late to make up for all the words you couldn't say.

i was sitting in front of my computer thinking about how long its been since i've written in my blog. i wanted to write about my VERY best friend and then i thought...wow...it's obvious. it's honest to god, my parents. i mean, highschool is only 4 years, after that we're out. we'll all separate and the so called best friends we have now won't be our best friends for the rest of our lives, well that's rare. so yes, my parents are my best friends. i feel bad for those kids who spend most of their time fighting with their parents. there's no point, i realized. either way, you're parents can't stay mad at you forever and you can't stay mad at them either, so there's no point of fighting, you'll make up anyways.

you can pick up 4 out of 5 wires, aiming for just one.

and those four were the ones that were not.