Cognitive Dissonance

"...If people undertook a task that they normally would have found quite interesting and enjoyable, but did so while expecting to be rewarded for their efforts, they might engage in a bit of private cognitive analysis complementary to that shown by subjects in the dissonance experiments. That is, they might decide that they had engaged in the relevant task in order to obtain the promised reward, and therefore come to view the behavior in question as less attractive in its own right. In other words, they would come to view such behavior as a means to an end rather than an attractive end in itself, and thereafter, in the absence of a prospect for reward, show relatively little inclination to engage in the task."

This is literally why I've been unable to fully submerge myself in music. At least, academically, or a career level. If I take away the relation that I have with music right now, which is a loving, inspiring level...then I feel as though I might ruin it altogether for myself.