The First

So today was one of the hardest days since I've been here. After an unsuccessful phone call, some drama on the friends front, and a day full of wondering if I'd ever get my work done, I just looked down at my textbook and straight broke down. College is SOOOOO much work. Such a wake up call. I'm not going to lie though, thank you to a very special someone (I love you so much), I felt much better. After getting a kind of get-your-shit-together pep talk from him, I actually felt like I could get through the day and get my shit done. 

Nothing is going to be easy from now on. I mean, all odds are against me right now. I'm in a university with 25,000 undergraduates. That means competition. I'm 3000(ish) miles away from you. That means distance and patience. But at the end of the day, I guess it really means just learning to be in the right state of mind. I gotta know that there will more days like this. Probably going to be hit by even worse days. It just means investing a lot of time in the things I love and need to work for. And it means knowing when I need to come up for fresh air. It's all about balance. I really need to get into the habit. 

So yeah,

today was hard.

First of many. 

More to come. 

Oh well. 

Move on.