Blabbing

I think I have two sides. Like everyone does. There's one person that you are in some moments of the day and then another at other moments. It doesn't make me shady or double-faced or anything. Because both of those sides are completely and utterly honest. But the problem is that when I'm with people, I feel as though it's all going to be okay. Everything seems divine and just beautiful. And then when I'm alone, I feel as though I'm too old for all those games. Somebody once told me that they had grown until they were "25 or 30" in their minds because of all the emotions and experiences that had accumulated in their lives. And because of that, they just didn't fit into their current reality anymore. I feel as though I've been growing inside of me and the outside is just hesitating and stuck. Youth is full of mistakes and full of excuses but growing means reality and decisions. I feel as though there is a state line between those two and both my feet are on separate sides of that line.

I am cut in half, basically.
I am the shore line.
Waiting to be kissed by the sea and struggling--
Because the sand provides safety from drowning in the waters.