Tiny Restless Thing

i've always believed that blasting music into my ears and zoning myself out from the world was the best way to just get away from all the shit that revolves in my head. but i realized today that honestly the best remedy is to just sit by yourself, with nothing but quietness around you and just be able to laugh at yourself. laugh at the stupid mistakes, laugh at the selfless and obnoxious things you witness. "there are two things that don't have to mean anything. one is music and the other is laughter," -Immanuel Kant (German Philosopher)

i want to be alone. not solemn, but quiet in my mind. not by myself, but justifiably silent.

it's times like this when i have to hold my shit together. there are some points where everything is flawless. and then in a split second, a week, a month, any period of time, everything comes toppling down in an instant. it might be coincidence or maybe because subconsciously, that's your routine. maybe you've trained yourself to be happy for a certain period of time and then you've also trained yourself to lose control so that then you'll have the perfect opportunity to let yourself tumble. it looks as though you're letting go, but in reality, you're just following routine. and that's what hurts most. not that your falling, but that you're letting yourself fall and you can't stop yourself.